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       Healing
       November 30, 2022
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       Written on my laptop while sitting on
       the couch in my living room
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  For more than one month I have basically just written about
  PicoGopher, and that is ok. I have defined it my "comfort
  project" and that's exactly what it is: something that keeps
  my mind off bad thoughts and makes me feel like I am doing
  something useful. And at the moment it does not really matter
  whether it is more useful for me than for anyone else.
  
  At some point, though, I think we all need to face -as I used
  to say during our team meetings way back at the end of April-
  the Elonphant in the room. We were all shocked about the news
  then (no surprise that was the moment when I started spending
  more time discovering alternatives to the mainstream social 
  networks), and we have all been shattered by all the things 
  that happened during the last month.
  
  When I say "all" I mean everyone I know in the team. There is
  no former or current employee, no one that was made redundant
  first or chose "No" or "Yes" later, no junior or senior or 
  acquired startup founder who is not wondering how the fuck 
  things could escalate so quickly. How a company we aligned so
  much with could so dramatically change in the span of one
  week. This was heartbreaking, way more than losing our jobs.
  
  I say "we" but I also realise it is a small consolation to
  know this happened to others. And the more I think of it the
  more it is not even a consolation, because while it helped me
  come to terms with suddenly losing a job, I feel for all 
  those who are in my same situation (or way worse: just think
  of those who were employed in the US with a visa).
  
  One way or another one month passed among friends, lawyers,
  recruiters, and people asking how the situation is, sorted
  in order of how much I felt the need for them, not of how
  much I saw them unfortunately. One month spent talking,
  flying, doing interviews, curing my kids from flu, getting
  the same virus, curing myself. Healing.
  
  Am I better now? A bit. Am I healed? Not yet. There's still
  quite a lot to process and this will require some time. I
  feel the need to write it here as I am getting restless and
  willing to turn the page and focus on something else, but I
  know I have to be more patient and give it the time it needs.